You began to notice that other people began to control your actions? And now it’s not about someone’s super abilities, but about ordinary manipulations. If you want to learn how to effectively resist them, then check out our rating of the best ways to deal with manipulation.
10. Breaking the pattern
One of the most primitive ways to turn a discussion to one’s side is to simply confuse a person. Otoropev, he loses the thread of his reasoning, and his interlocutor-manipulator thus eliminates the need to look for a convincing counterargument. For example, during a meeting, you introduce an idea, giving arguments that convince the majority of the audience that your words are reasonable. However, your opponent, not being able to oppose your idea to something of his own, just starts talking about something that is not relevant to the essence of the issue, thereby knocking you off your intended goal.
How to counter a similar manipulation technique? Since “breaking a template” is a spontaneous reaction, fighting it is not so simple. However, it is rarely used in disputes occurring in private. You can prepare for public discussions well in advance. To do this, you need to work out in detail the main points with which you will speak. This will break the tactics of your opponent.
9. Counterexample
Another simple way to avoid an explanation is by forcing the interlocutor to make excuses. For example, you ask a negligent subordinate: “Why didn’t you fulfill my request? What are you doing now?". And in response, hear: “I work! Do you think I'm smelling roses here? ” Such a technique puts the questioner in an awkward position, because you have a logical idea: “Why did he decide that I think about him badly?”, After which you try to translate the conversation as a joke or give ridiculous excuses, forgetting about your question. And now - the manipulator achieved its goal.
In order not to fall for this trick, you need to respond briefly and affirmatively to the provocative replica of the manipulator: “Yes, it seems to me that you are busy with this, while my assignment has not yet been completed.” Then you can continue to push, and the manipulator will have to retire.
8. Redefinition
Redefinition, in simple terms, can be described as a banal “transfer of arrows” to the interlocutor. When the manipulator cannot give a clear and truthful answer to the question, he, not finding anything better, asks a counter question. For example, you convicted a colleague that he was sitting in a cafe during working hours. You ask him why he did this, and he, in turn, replies: “And what can I not do, spend a few minutes talking with an insider of competitors, for our common good?”. And now he is no longer acting as a violator of labor discipline, but as a guardian for increasing the efficiency of the team.
The main thing in this matter is to prevent the manipulator from turning the conversation in a direction convenient for him. You must constantly return him to the essence of your claim so that he does not manage to deftly “jump off” it.
7. Two-part request
A request, the concept of which consists of 2 mutually consistent theses, is subconsciously perceived as a cause and effect. For example, “Ivan Ivanovich, take a break and bring me tea.” If you refuse, meaning tea, then, among other things, refuse a break.
To counter such manipulation, you need to break your answer into two conditional parts: “Thank you for the opportunity to take a breath, but I can’t make tea now.”
6. The decline
This technique provides for agreement with the opponent’s remark or insertion of a positive thesis, and then an extreme form of denial follows. For example: “You are prettier - probably I began to lose my sight!”.
Why is this done? Most often, such a technique is used for public discussion in order to humiliate the interlocutor or make him lose his temper.
To effectively fend off the decline, you must have experience in conducting such discussions and be very sharp on the tongue of a person. However, the response can be quite simple: “I began to lose my sight.”, “Yes, in addition, you are not looking at me, but in the mirror.”
5. Tuning
The technique of this method of manipulation is quite simple: before answering a question or releasing a replica, you need to literally relay the opponent’s phrase. When a person hears his own cue, he will subconsciously assume that the authorship of the words following her also belongs to him. For example: “I do not want to do this,” “You do not want to do this. However, you have no choice. ”
To deal effectively with the tweaks, you need to immediately recognize them in the opponent’s speech and not let him fool your head. Stand on your thesis until he understands that such things do not affect you.
4. Killing
For those who are at least superficially familiar with the English language, it is probably not worth explaining that the essence of such a manipulative trick is to harshly criticize not the words of the interlocutor, but his personality. For example: "It seems to me that the report made a mistake", - "Only such an idiot like you could have seemed so." In this case, the manipulator is rude to you at the beginning, after which it introduces the idea that your words are absurd into the minds of the audience.
Killing cannot be overcome by insults in return. After all, the manipulator needs to reduce the discussion to the level of a banal skirmish. You can resist him stubbornly insisting on his thesis: "Maybe I'm an idiot, but still there is a mistake." Stand your ground and win.
3. Metaframe
This technique is characterized by the use of the words “constantly”, “for nothing”, “everything”, etc. What is the essence of the metaframe? The interlocutor-manipulator, instead of exposing your theses or developing a dialogue in a constructive manner, begins to attack your consciousness, based on the above words. For example: “You have once again lost sight of this. As always in your repertoire, you cannot do anything well. ” And instead of discussing a specific fact, you are slipping into excuses for all the sins committed by humanity.
The most effective way to deal with metaframes is to urge you to give a concrete example. After that, the whole manipulative construction of your opponent will fall apart, because it is much easier to appeal by generalizations than to indicate a fact confirming the correctness of the words.
2. As-if-frame
The essence of this technique is to reinforce your request with a peremptory confident expression and instant action. For example, a co-worker asks you to make several copies of documents for him - and, without receiving consent, throws a pile of papers on the table. It is quite difficult to resist this manipulation, because non-verbal techniques take place here. You have already picked up the sheets, so the answer is “No!” will cause psychological discomfort.
The only way to counter this manipulation is physical exclusion. You can also ask a counter question in response: “On what basis do you leave me the documents, as if I had already agreed?”
1. Imperative of negative intentions
Separately, the imperative is not applied - most often it is used in combination with other manipulative techniques. His goal is to make the opponent constantly make excuses, not giving him the opportunity to take the initiative in the conversation. Example: “This gift is for you!” “What is it, rubber fig?”.
To prove that there was nothing wrong with your intentions is an ungrateful thing, because constantly pouring groundless accusations is much easier than quickly finding excuses. It would be much more effective to translate all this as a joke, saying: “Of course, but how did you guess?”